"I Don't Do ... ."

If you've taken a look at the FAQ on the Just Clean Web site, you might have noticed that my answer to the question "Come be my maid/clean my sparkling mansion/wash my clothes/run errands for me" was a simple "No."

I don't do those things. Except when I do.

• Take the "sparkling mansion" thing. Luckily, I haven't had any inquiries from big-house clean freaks. But I do have a couple clients who are very neat and just unable to clean as well as they would like. Big difference. If your house is clean but you're unable to keep up with it and living in fear of gathering dust bunnies, give me a call.
• Clothes washing, that's another thing I guess I kind of do now. If you're a regular client with a simple house or apartment, especially if you have mobility issues, of course I can throw some laundry in for you. Buyer beware though. My laundry expertise is limited to separating colors and whites and washing them with simple detergent and hot or warm water depending on how dirty they are. I am boning up a little on natural stain removal and the like, but I make no warranties on clothes washing.
• I still don't run errands, and I won't make a habit of it unless and until I invest in some deferred auto maintenance or the bicycle and trailer I would love to be using instead of my car. Still, no rarely means no. So if you want me to haul off some junk or drop by a store on the way to your appointment, I probably will. But if you need someone to cart you across town or do regular running around for you, JustClean is not a company that does that.
• Polishing furniture is another item on the longtime "don't do" list. I have been smuggling Murphy's and Liquid Gold wood washes onto the job since shortly after I started doing housekeeping-type cleaning for money in 2009. Aerosol polishes are nasty to breathe and aren't good for most wood surfaces. JustClean's go-to is a rag dampened with a little Castile soap and water. If your wood needs polishing, let me clean it first, and we can talk about scheduling the time and finding the right oil or wax for it.

 Above is by no means an exhaustive list of off- and anti-menu things JustClean has done. I do a pretty good job of organizing, but I generally will not do that while cleaning. Those two are best kept separate if you want either done efficiently. I've also done a little bit of pest and pet cleanup, though in the interest of keeping my equipment allergen-free, that's not the kind of work I'm going to go out of my way to solicit. At least not until I get a complete set of "stink" equipment, including a separate vacuum cleaner. In the past few months, I have also found myself picking hair out of drains, scrubbing ovens, cleaning out refrigerators (with and without flea infestations) and salvaging cast off odds and ends I have no idea how to resell. That last one, I hate to throw away useable stuff when a client is dejunking, but an American Picker I am not, so I think the rule is that I will get unwanted stuff donated or recycled.

Oh, and I do do windows. All. the time, as a matter of fact. Dirty entry doors, kitchen sink windows and other high-touch glass fixtures are part of a regular cleaning. Most places charge extra or make cleaning windows into a big special-service project, but me, I never could walk out of a clean house and leave the front door glass covered with dog slobber. I might need to schedule a separate appointment to get all your windows or do the outside ones, and I might draw the line at skylights and third-floor outside windows, but, those easy-to-reach windows that tend to get dirty, I am all over them.
 
The one thing I absolutely will not do is offer personal maid service. If you want a handmaid to use your materials and clean everything according to your specific directions, you need to hire an employee and pay Social Security and unemployment taxes on her. That's the law, and people who pay contractor wages for help they want to micromanage are breaking it. That exploits hard working people and depresses wages for everyone. You hire a contractor to get it done their way at their price. You hire an employee if you want to pay wages for a pair of hands at your beck and call.